all seems to be where i wanted things to be ... execpt for him ... day & night ... night & day... its just all about him. i wanna stop already ... its getting unhealthy ... and its most certainly not diet friendly! damn it!

speaking of which ... ive fucking gained back all the 5 pounds that i lost during christmas vacation! i dont know what the hell happened! i just keep on stuffing my mouth! craving for different things every five seconds! indulging myself in a haven of ice cream! oh i cant wait til i get my wisdom teeth taken out! and to think my dad just told me that im too thin to wear braces!

what the hell! i dont care anymore! im a narcissist [ the hell with the spelling too! ] and i dont give a bull about what other think? or maybe just for now?

its too early to think about the future but i am thinking about it now ... trying to prepare for the responsibilities that it brings ... slowly and [ not but! ] surely ... its helps me get more focused ... i need more determination but a different challenge ... im just hoping that more opportunities will open ... im dead serious about that.

speaking of which ... i know how i have these impulsive fascinations about culture and stuff but lately the COYOTE's been talking about BUDDHISM ... it never seemed to interest me as much till he started getting into it as well! i actually wanna look into it more and maybe in time il be in my impulsive mood to just change religion ... hmmm ... i should do that for my 21st birthday! i think id like that as a birthday present for myself!

done!

posted by oddnumber at 21:03